Growing and sitting in discomfort

I’ve been going through a lot of thinking and analyzing lately.  There are several aspects of my life that I’m not happy with at the moment, both professional and personal. I’m trying to figure out what I want from my professional life, what I want and need in my personal life, what path I want to take, what makes me happy. I’ve struggled with it a lot.  I’ve been a basket case, happy and confident one minute, feeling vulnerable, hopeless, depressed the next. Its been one of the hardest times in my life. I’ve faced a lot of fears, every experience is pulling me out of my comfort zone.  I’m so far out of the shell, my comfort zone seems like its Pluto! Being alone is extremely hard, it would be so, so easy to attach myself to someone, lose myself in a friend or a lover.  But then I’ll most likely just end up right back here at some point in my future, won’t I? 

In Yin yoga they tell you that when you get to that point where you want to move and feel like you can’t hold it any longer, that urge to fidget, twitch, or adjust… you don’t.  

You stay.

And you breathe.  

That’s where you’re doing the most work.  When you get to that edge where just feel like you can’t take anymore, that urge to unwind and get out of the pose is when you’re doing yourself the most good.  That’s when you grow. 

When you look those fears and demons dead in the eye … and you stay … and you breathe… they have no power over you. 

I’m hoping that this part of my life is the discomfort that I have to go through to get to the other side. Through the pain and the trials and the tribulations comes the growth. I’m hoping that sitting here, with these demons I’m looking at right now, that staying with them and not taking the easy route of losing myself in something, will set me on the right path. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: